When you take your first call as a Childline Counsellor, you dont really know what to expect, despite all the training, there is nothing like the contact from a young person who might want to share whats happening in their world.
And I guess for many of you reading this, you will be wondering, whats this got to do with me?
Most, if not all, will have either direct contact with a young person, in the form of a son or daughter, sibling, nephew or niece, but as we lead our lives, just how many of us realise whats happening in our young people's world.
Six months on, in my Counselling experience, I am astounded by the number of young people who contact Childline who are self harming. And before you read on thinking, this has nothing to do with me, read on!
It may be the constant intensity of social media, the constant immediacy of swiping left and right, reacting, responding and trying to keep in touch, its certainly not always about wanting to commit suicide or being bullied ..... but in the last 3 years, self harm in young people between the ages of 13 to 16 has risen 68%
Try this exercise, if you have a child or sibling of teenage years, ask them if they know anyone in their circle of friends who has self harmed, evidence suggests they will answer "yes"
Girls are thought to be more likely to self-harm than boys, but this could be because boys are more likely to engage in behaviours such as punching a wall, which isn't always recognised as self-harm or doesn’t come to the attention of the GP or Hospital. In reality self-harm doesn't happen to one type of person, it can't be predicted and scarily, we don't really know how many people are going through it.
The first thing to remember is that in most cases, self harming is a coping mechanism, its a way of dealing with pain through the physical sense, rather than an emotional or psychological sense. As I mentioned earlier, that's not to say, the young person is being bullied or hurt, although of course it could be this, but it is equally as likely to be a coping mechanism for the pressure young people have to cope with today.
It is therefore really important, that if you are concerned about a young person, that they show signs of self harming, or being depressed, that they are supported and offered help and most important, an understanding ear to listen to them.
If your child is self harming, its really important that you dont jump of the handle, say "get a grip" or fail to empathise and try and understand. As parents, guardians or relatives, we likely dont understand, because we dont live in their world, but its real for them, and showing support and empathy is a real first step in supporting them.
You must always make sure that any cuts are kept clean and protected, and support the young person in guiding them to professionals who can engage and ensure they get the most appropriate help.
A GP is a good starting point, but there are also lots of charities that can offer support and you should try and signpost these to the young person if they feel uncomfortable with getting face to face help at that moment in time, dont force it, that will only create a wall of silence.
Some of the organisations that can help support as listed below, and I also give a link to the Childline page on self harm, if you want to read more about it.
Childline 0800 1111, young people can also engage on a 1-1 online chat and by private message
Childline self harming page
Young Minds
Self Harm has no barriers, it crosses, race, religion, sex and wealth.
Dr Alan Ball
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