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How to build relationships not sales



No matter what business you’re in, your primary focus will be to make that business a success. That means making sales. But if this is the only thing you’re focusing on, you could be looking in the wrong place.

There’s a famous saying that goes ‘build it and they will come’. You might change that to say, ‘promote it and they will come’. But no one likes a hard sell, and it is very easy to try too hard to sell whatever you are offering. This applies to service businesses as well as those that sell goods. It also applies to every industry and every size of business. No one likes being sold to.

Take a step back

If your sales are not progressing as well as you would like, it’s time to figure out why. And it begins with relationships. You might say it ends with relationships as well.

Imagine you want to buy a new car. You visit two car dealers. The first is big on the sales talk, constantly trying to convince you of the great deal they can offer. It’s all about the sale – and hence, always about what they are going to get out of it if you do buy the car they’re showing you.

The second is friendly and wants to find out about you and the type of car you’re looking for. They’re happy to talk through what you need from your new car, and how you’re most likely to use it. Is it for the school run? Are you going to be making lots of long journeys in it? Will you use it for work?

By chatting about your needs, the second dealer will find out exactly what you want. They may even steer you away from the car you were originally thinking about, because they know there’s something that might suit you better.

Spot the difference

No doubt you can tell where the differences lie in these two situations. The first car dealer is focusing on their own needs and desire to make a sale. The second is focusing on you.

And that is the main thing to remember whenever you are trying to sell anything. Focus on the customer. Take the time to build relationships. When you do, your sales may just receive a healthy boost. No one likes sales pressure. Are you applying it without even realising you’re doing it? It’s easy to do, but you can take steps to turn things around by evaluating the way you’re doing things.

Maybe you’re just now realising you’ve been guilty of putting sales ahead of relationships. Not to worry – realisation is the first step towards solving that. As I mentioned before, no one likes a hard sell. However, if you’re doing things correctly, you won’t need to sell at all.


Impulse sales work for some businesses, but even then – even when the customer doesn’t meet the seller – you can still strive to build a relationship with your audience.

Alan is the CEO of Rosia Bay, business fixer, business coach and life coach 

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